AUSTIN, Texas -- A hearty round of congratulations to all concerned in this
year's presidential race for three weeks of politics at their finest.
First, we had the great debate over whether the vice president smooched his
wife for too long at the Democratic National Convention -- a matter of
burning moment to the republic -- complete with exegesis of the smacker as
to whether or not he frenched her. Comparison of the candidates' economic
plans was shelved for that week.
Then we had the Debate on Debates, a subject gripping the nation and
affecting the very lives of all who dwell herein, with the referees in solid
concert that W. Bush's ploy to make Al Gore look slippery was too cute by
half and only succeeded in underlining Bush's gutlessness. Consideration of
global warming was postponed.
Next we had a reprise of that old favorite, the Open Mike Gotcha, with Bush
calling a New York Times reporter a major-league casserole. Although it can be argued that Bush's failure to apologize was major-league tacky, the
matter necessitated shelving all questions related to economic
globalization.
Then we spent several days on the grave question of whether a Bush ad
deliberately held the word "RATS" on screen -- a matter further complicated
by Bush's repeated references to the technique as "subliminable," raising
the even more weighty question of whether the man suffers from dyslexia or
just the consequences of growing up with a father who is not fluent in
English. Discussion of the income gap was necessarily moved aside, although
the median housing wage is now $11.08 an hour to afford a two-bedroom
unit -- more than twice the minimum wage in 29 states.
We spent a few days on who sent whom whose debate preparation tapes, with
appropriate speculation on scenarios of which John LeCarre would be proud.
Minor attention to Dick Cheney's failure to vote 14 out of 16 times in
Dallas also pre-empted consideration of what to do about the 44 million
Americans who have no health insurance.
We would then have paid serious attention to how to improve the public
schools, except that we had to pause to report the percentage decline in the
number of jokes about Gore's switch to earth tones by late-night television
comedians.
The media are now engaged in a round of mourning over the incurable
frivolity of the American public, which is apparently planning to spend the
next two weeks watching the Sydney Olympics under the impression that not
much of importance is being discussed in the presidential campaign. And may
I say that it is darn difficult to be part of a serious effort to educate
and inform the people when we in the media are stuck with such a
piffle-headed public.
Far be it from me to imply that your alert watchdogs of the press are
missing anything, but you might want to know about a couple of recent events
in Portland, Ore. Gov. G.W. Bush held a public rally there attended by 2,300
citizens and a huge media pack, which gave said rally the national coverage
that it so fully deserved.
Two days later, the Green Party rented a coliseum that seats 10,000 people
and charged them $7 a head to hear Ralph Nader, with droves of people being
turned away for lack of room. This event received no coverage whatever
beyond Portland, despite the fact that the crowd was so enthusiastic that
the normally reserved Nader gave a speech that had the crowd standing and
screaming while he pumped his arms like a champ. (One local paper specified
"his spindly arms.")
As anyone in the media will explain to you, the reason we do not give more
coverage to Nader is because he is not Moving in the Polls. The reason he is
not Moving in the Polls is because he gets no media coverage. Do you want
the chicken or the egg?
I know that this textbook campaign so splendidly illustrating the beauties
of democracy (and by George, if we're not a role model for the rest of the
world, who is?) makes us all proud to be part of a nation where tens of
millions of dollars in corporate special-interest contributions decides the
outcome of elections. But has it ever occurred to you that we might be
missing something here?
I realize that this is nothing compared to the importance of the flap over
the phone call that Gore did not make in 1995, and certainly not to Dubya's
latest gaffe, but ... could it be that part of what we're missing is ... an
opportunity?
And if this exercise is as puerile and sterile as it appears, what can we
do? Bad enough that our political system is corrupt -- must it also be this
vapid? We could try to change the campaign finance laws or to find a Nader
speech on C-SPAN. But maybe the Olympics will be good.
Molly Ivins is a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. To find out
more about Molly Ivins and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers
and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.
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