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And now, a news dispatch from the Media Twilight Zone...
WASHINGTON -- There were unconfirmed reports yesterday that the United
States is not the center of the world.
The White House had no immediate comment on the reports, which set off
a firestorm of controversy in the nation's capital.
Speaking on background, a high-ranking official at the State Department
discounted the possibility that the reports would turn out to be true. "If
that were the case," he said, "don't you think we would have known about it
a long time ago?"
On Capitol Hill, leaders of both parties were quick to rebut the
assertion. "That certain news organizations would run with such a poorly
sourced and obviously slanted story tells us that the liberal media are
still up to their old tricks, despite the current crisis," a GOP lawmaker
fumed. A prominent Democrat, also speaking on condition of anonymity, said
that classified briefings to congressional intelligence panels had disproved
such claims long ago.
Scholars at leading think tanks were more restrained, and some said
there was a certain amount of literal truth to the essence of the reports.
But they pointed out that while it included factual accuracy in a narrow
sense, the assertion was out of context and had the potential to damage
national unity at a time when the United States could ill afford such a
disruption.
The claim evidently originated with a piece by a Lebanese journalist
that appeared several days ago in a Beirut magazine. It was then picked up
by a pair of left-leaning daily newspapers in London. From there, the story
quickly made its way across the Atlantic via the Internet.
"It just goes to show how much we need seasoned, professional
gatekeepers to separate the journalistic wheat from the chaff before it
gains wide attention," remarked the managing editor of one news program at a
major U.S. television network. "This is the kind of stuff you see on
ideologically driven websites, but that hardly means it belongs on the
evening news." A newsmagazine editor agreed, calling the reports "the worst
kind of geographical correctness."
None of the major cable networks devoted much air time to reporting the
story. At one outlet, a news executive's memo told staffers that any
reference to the controversy should include mention of the fact that the
United States continues to lead the globe in scientific discoveries. At a
more conservative network, anchors and correspondents reminded viewers that
English is widely acknowledged to be the international language -- and more
people speak English in the U.S. than in any other nation.
While government officials voiced acute skepticism about the notion
that the United States is not the center of the world, they declined to
speak for attribution. "If lightning strikes and it turns out this report
has real substance to it," explained one policymaker at the State
Department, "we could look very bad, at least in the short run. Until it can
be clearly refuted, no one wants to take the chance of leading with their
chin and ending up with a hefty serving of Egg McMuffin on their face."
An informal survey of intellectuals with ties to influential magazines
of political opinion, running the gamut from The Weekly Standard to The New
Republic, indicated that the report was likely to gain little currency in
Washington's elite media forums.
"The problem with this kind of shoddy impersonation of reporting is
that it's hard to knock down because there are grains of truth," one editor
commented. "Sure, who doesn't know that our country includes only small
percentages of the planet's land mass and population? But to draw an
inference from those isolated facts that somehow the United States of
America is not central to the world and its future -- well, that carries
postmodernism to a nonsensical extreme."
Another well-known American journalist speculated that the controversy
will soon pass: "Moral relativism remains a pernicious force in our society,
but overall it holds less appeal than ever, even on American campuses. It's
not just that we're the only superpower -- we happen to also be the light
onto the nations and the key to the world's fate. People who can't accept
that reality are not going to have much credibility."