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I see that I'm damn near legendary now; and since I died long ago,
that's safe for all concerned.
The other day, with calendars showing January 2002, a radio was
having its usual effect -- until suddenly my eyelids popped open. A young
fella named Ken Burns was talking about me. I listened attentively in case
I might, at last, learn the meaning of my glorious and wretched life.
Weighing me on literary scales, his thumb was heavy on the glory
side. I will not object, though I might quibble a tad.
On the program (NPR's "Morning Edition"), filmmaker Burns brought me
into the present. "Of all the historical characters that I've tried to
size up over the last 25 years," he said, "Twain is the only person that I
think you could drop down into today and within about 15 minutes everybody
would want him. He'd be on your show. He'd be on all the cable channels."
Well, that depends. The man's own film briefly describes what
happened when I wrote an extended attack on King Leopold's murderous
plunder in the Congo: "No American publisher dared print it."
The impression gnaws at me that not so much has changed.
The film displays a photo of native people with their hands hacked
off for not satisfying Leopold's rubber-trade henchmen in the Congo,
rendered "Belgian" by massive greed and even more enormous cruelty. Now, a
hundred years after Belgium's entrepreneurial forces were inflicting the
first holocaust of the 20th century, let us consider more recent events a
bit farther south on the same continent, where Angola became the amputee
capital of the world.
Many Angolans are missing limbs due to land mines funded by American
taxpayers as President Ronald Reagan lauded guerrilla "freedom fighters."
With the U.S. government bearing major responsibility for the carnage, the
war continued into the next decade. During an 18-month period ending in
March 1994, half a million people died in Angola. I wonder, how likely is
it that I'd be invited "on all the cable channels" to pointedly discuss
such matters?
In Southeast Asia, across the countryside of Laos, at least 18
million cluster bombs -- left behind by the U.S. military -- remain
dormant. They're apt to explode when jostled. "Bombies," they're called.
Too trivial for the noble humanitarians in Washington to go back and
remove.
Since the early 1970s, cluster bombs have taken 12,000 civilian lives
in Laos, where they continue to kill or maim 500 people every year.
Forty-three percent of the victims are children.
In Afghanistan, where several thousand civilians died outright from
U.S. bombing last fall, American planes dropped quite a few cluster bombs.
President George W. Bush, an avid moralizer, is not perturbed that some of
those explosives will cripple or kill children and other Afghans in the
months and years ahead.
Forgive me. The previous paragraphs fall into the category of
"political diatribes" -- a phrase used by the narration of Mr. Burns' film
to refer to certain proclivities in my later years.
As I watched "Mark Twain" (on PBS in mid-January), my entire life
flashed before my eyes. By the end of the film, if I hadn't already been
dead, I'd have been provided with much incentive.
Granted, I was not as whitewashed as Aunt Polly's fence. The movie
included this statement that I made: "I am an anti-imperialist. I am
opposed to having the eagle put its talons on any other land."
However, the audience of 21st century modernists would not have been
unduly injured to hear words from my pen like these: "Who are the
oppressors? The few: the king, the capitalist and a handful of other
overseers and superintendents. Who are the oppressed? The many: the
nations of the earth; the valuable personages; the workers; they that make
the bread that the soft-handed and idle eat."
This is not an outlook often seen on television. Instead, scarcely
varying, news stories repeat themselves endlessly. They cause me to recall
a tale I heard many times on stagecoaches along the Overland trail, a yarn
(recounted in "Roughing It") about Horace Greeley and his ride from Carson
City to Placerville.
Observing one news reciter after another on cable channels, I want to
cry out as I did once long ago: "Proceed at your peril. You see in me the
melancholy wreck of a once stalwart and magnificent manhood. What has
brought me to this? That thing which you are about to tell. Gradually but
surely, that tiresome old anecdote has sapped my strength, undermined my
constitution, withered my life. Pity my helplessness. Spare me only just
this once, and tell me about young George Washington and his little
hatchet for a change."
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Norman Solomon's latest book is "The Habits of Highly Deceptive Media."
His syndicated column focuses on media and politics.